meh

Jan. 27th, 2011 07:39 pm
redfelix: (dandelion)
[personal profile] redfelix
Oh my god. I am finally finished with my first week of school. I'm satisfied with all my classes and interpreters (minus the one I mentioned in my last post, of course). But wow. I haven't had this amount of workload since high school. All my classes are gonna suck the life out of my life. So MANY exams, projects, and papers to do. Crap.

On the top of all the hecticness (is that even a word?) that my week was, my body decided to screw me over by being sick. I have been shivering, sneezing, and coughing up a storm since Tuesday. I completely had no energy to do shit but sleep. And I cannot even do that because I had classes. Blah. And something happened today that didn't help my mood at all.

I picked up my book check from NCOD before class today. (The state gives me a book check of $475.00 every semester because of my deafness. They're apparently mandated to do so as long as I keep my gpa above 2.5. They also pay for my tuition.) But you see, the book checks are NEVER written for us. They're written for the school bookstore. That way, we don't splurge the book checks on anything else but books. That means I have to buy all my books from the bookstore at once. I cannot split up the check. Bah, it is complicated. Anyway, at the bookstore today, I couldn't find one book I really needed so that I can buy all my other books. And all the employees were too busy. I was about to give up when I bumped into one employee. Like in all the other situations, I used my iPhone to communicate. I showed her the title of the book and I told her that it's all out. And what did she do?

She stood there all PETRIFIED. She was staring at me and she looked so terrified. I don't think I have ever seen anyone that scared of me. She backed away while shaking her head. Keep in mind, I am very shy. I don't usually express my emotions in front of other people. But that exact second, something snapped inside me. I picked up all my books and stormed off.

The rational side of me keeps on telling me that I am probably the first deaf person she encountered. But still. That never happened to me. Sure, I have experienced so many name-callings and rude comments from people because of my deafness. But never this. I cannot help but feel really offended by this incident.

This may seem extremely trivial. I am often a "ah shit happens people r dumb what can i do?" kind of person. But today, I was feeling really sick and tired and stressed. And I needed help. Then that happened. Ugh.

And I still don't have my books.
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February 2011

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